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Archives - May 2009

May 1, 2009

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

– Doug Larson

May 2, 2009

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

– Kin Hubbard

May 3, 2009

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

– Robert Benchley

May 4, 2009

Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

– Shari R. Barr

May 5, 2009

When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.

– Herman Hesse

May 6, 2009

Speeches are like steer horns --- a point here, a point there and a lot of bull in between.

– Evelyn Anderson

May 7, 2009

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

– Jonathan Swift

May 8, 2009

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.

– Bob Thaves, "Frank and Ernest"

May 9, 2009

Do what you can with what you have where you are.

– Theodore Roosevelt

May 10, 2009

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.

– Peter De Vries

May 11, 2009

If you think education is expensive --- try ignorance.

– Derek C. Bok

May 12, 2009

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

– Kurt Vonnegut

May 13, 2009

The hand that holds the quills controls history.

– Charles L. Blockson

May 14, 2009

Dreams are illustrations...from the book your soul is writing about you.

– Marsha Norman

May 15, 2009

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.

– Brendan Behan

May 16, 2009

Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.


May 17, 2009

Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you.

– Mary Bly

May 18, 2009

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

– Erma Bombeck

May 19, 2009

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

– Lily Tomlin

May 20, 2009

Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.

– Doris Lessing

May 21, 2009

All music is folk music. I ain't ever heard no horse sing a song.

– Louis Armstrong

May 22, 2009

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

– H. L. Mencken

May 23, 2009

The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.

– Don Marquis

May 24, 2009

When we are dreaming alone, it is only a dream. When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality.

– Dom Hélder Câmara

May 25, 2009

They are dead; but they live in each Patriot's breast,
And their names are engraven on honor's bright crest.

– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

May 26, 2009

The better we feel about ourselves, the fewer times we have to knock somebody else down to feel tall.

– Odetta

May 27, 2009

I'd heard it all the time, 'Live in the moment.' But if I did that, I'd weigh more than a dump truck. Losing weight wasn't about the moment at all; it was about having faith in the future. It was about knowing there would be another meal in a few hours.

– Stephanie Klein, MOOSE

May 28, 2009

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One representing danger and the other represents opportunity.

– John F. Kennedy

May 29, 2009

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

– George Carlin

May 30, 2009

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.

– Robert Orben

May 31, 2009

The one thing more difficult than following a regimen is not imposing it on others.

– Marcel Proust