WE ARE PIRATES is Daniel Handler’s 18th novel, but only his third to be targeted toward adults. While I had some issues with the book, Handler’s usual gifts --- crackling prose, startlingly real moments of human interaction --- are on display here.

The novel is told in alternating chapters, split between a hapless middle-aged radio producer named Phil Needle (he is always referred to as such, never just “Phil”) and his 14-year-old daughter, Gwen, whose penchant for shoplifting evinces a struggling desire for rebellion. When Gwen gets caught with her pockets full of ill-gotten perfume, her parents sentence her to several character-building weeks at a nursing home, where she meets an Alzheimer’s patient named Errol.

"WE ARE PIRATES is Daniel Handler’s 18th novel, but only his third to be targeted toward adults. While I had some issues with the book, Handler’s usual gifts --- crackling prose, startlingly real moments of human interaction --- are on display here."

But the plot thickens. At the same time as Errol regales Gwen with (false) stories about his time in the navy, Phil Needle is called down to Los Angeles for a make-or-break chance to pitch his new, still-untitled radio show at an annual conference full of broadcasting bigwigs…and he’s bringing his young, attractive new hire on the trip with him.

This, by itself, is a decent setup for a novel. The problem is in Handler’s execution. Gwen doesn’t meet Amber, her friend and, later, fellow pirate, until nearly halfway through the book. Phil Needle’s fling with his assistant is artfully foreshadowed, but the denouement is sharp and unsatisfying. Though sentences and paragraphs are delightful to read, they never cohere into a real, unified book.

More problematic than the book’s structure, however, is its tone. Although both Gwen and Phil Needle are fully realized characters, only Gwen is compelling --- the most interesting part of Phil Needle’s story occurs when he gets drawn into Gwen’s narrative. The swashbuckling title is supposed to apply to both Phil Needle and Gwen, but the difference between how this theme comes to pass in their respective stories is stark. Phil Needle  tries to taste freedom through a rather banal marital affair, but Gwen and her cronies actually become pirates, replete with scenes of violence that are played jarringly straight.

By the time Phil Needle’s and Gwen’s narratives finally merge, the reader is left confused as to what the strange mixture of ennui and gore is supposed to represent. There’s a message here about freedom and adulthood in the modern age, but it’s half-complete at best.