Skip to main content

The Particulars of Peter: Dance Lessons, DNA Tests, and Other Excuses to Hang Out with My Perfect Dog

Review

The Particulars of Peter: Dance Lessons, DNA Tests, and Other Excuses to Hang Out with My Perfect Dog

Kelly Conaboy loves her dog, Peter, so much that she wrote a book about him. She obsesses over him and writes about him in a humorous and touching manner that few of us could match.

Peter is the epitome of canine perfection. When Conaboy agreed to foster him, she wasn’t sure she should actually adopt a dog. The rescue was adamant that fosters are not allowed to adopt their foster dogs. But Conaboy fell in love with Peter, which she describes as both inevitable and the best thing that ever happened to her. The first chapter, “How Did We Get Here?” outlines how she begged and pleaded and finally was able to adopt Peter, the cutest dog in the universe (at least in her eyes).

Conaboy describes Peter as her “great love and my obsession” and “sweet number one man.” She explains her guilt that, as she is writing about her favorite topic, she is getting paid to do so. She judges people who use their dogs for fame- or money-grabbing purposes on social media and cringes when people talk “baby talk” to their dogs. She did some activities with Peter so she could write about them and says, “I’m so sorry to take you down all of these horrible paths of self-obsession, please feel free to skip ahead --- it’s guilt-making to be a writer when undergoing experiences. I always hate admitting that I’m doing something to write about it to those who are doing it simply for the experience of doing it. It makes people suspicious, like I might have some sort of cruel ulterior motive, and it makes me feel like a phony.” But in writing this, Conaboy reveled in the fact that she got to hang out with Peter and “think about him all the time, and write about him all the time. I wanted to spend time getting to know him. I feel so lucky that I was able to do that, to make him into work. What an incredible scam.”

"What you'll get out of this book is an appreciation for Conaboy’s complete and total adoration of Peter, and you'll smile and chuckle often while reading each chapter."

If you’ve concluded that Conaboy's writing is naturally conversational and filled with wry humor, you would be correct. She is self-deprecating as she makes fun of her anxiety about taking care of Peter, always doing the right thing for him, and making sure that his life is as wonderful as it can possibly be.

We learn about Peter’s DNA test and why she picked the one offered by a company called Embark. Spoiler alert: It was the most expensive one, and she wasn’t paying for it! She reached out to the rescue group that had saved Peter from a high-kill shelter in the south, and as most of us who have rescue dogs already know, there was precious little known about the first three years of his life. And Conaboy is up front about her sadness that she couldn’t protect him during that time.

Luckily for us, Conaboy often veers off topic. In the chapter about doggie festivals, she describes driving to Canada to attend what was billed as the largest dog festival in North America. She then digresses and discusses seat belts for dogs. After learning that dogs should be restrained in moving vehicles, she bought a dog vest and dog seat belt that is anchored to the backseat headrest. She continues, “[P]lus I got a net for between the back and front seats that will definitely do nothing in an accident but still provides the level of mental comfort that spending money on something unnecessary can provide.” Her narrative about the Hyatt Regency in Buffalo is priceless.

You won’t learn anything important about how to care for your dog by reading this book. There’s nothing here about the best dog food or grooming tools that are a “must have.” Most of us know the answers to the questions that make up the titles of each chapter, such as “Should my dog play a sport?” and “Should I sleep in bed with my dog?” In my opinion, the latter depends on several factors (number of dogs, size of bed). Conaboy only has one dog, so yes, Peter sleeps with her. She tells us, “When it’s time for bed I’ll ask Peter, ‘Do you want to go to bed?’ He doesn’t really have any agency in the situation, since he is technically my prisoner, but I like to offer him the illusion.”

What you'll get out of this book is an appreciation for Conaboy’s complete and total adoration of Peter, and you'll smile and chuckle often while reading each chapter. I wish I could share more of the absolutely hysterical musings that she includes here, but there’s only so much space. Suffice to say that if you have a dog, you will laugh continuously at Peter’s antics and even more at Conaboy’s over-the-top devotion to Peter and his happiness.

Do dogs like music? Can they learn to talk? Can you communicate with them via a pet psychic? Can they hunt ghosts? Find out the answers (kind of) to these vital questions in THE PARTICULARS OF PETER. Get ready to look at your dog through new eyes. Be prepared to smile. Or give this book to someone you know who is obsessed with their dog. They’ll love it.

Reviewed by Pamela Kramer on December 11, 2020

The Particulars of Peter: Dance Lessons, DNA Tests, and Other Excuses to Hang Out with My Perfect Dog
by Kelly Conaboy

  • Publication Date: December 8, 2020
  • Genres: Humor, Memoir, Nonfiction
  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
  • ISBN-10: 1538717867
  • ISBN-13: 9781538717868