Excerpt
Excerpt
Tamed: The Tangled Series
It’s amazing how close you can feel to a person after you’ve
suffered through the torture of food poisoning together for
twenty-four hours. That kind of intimacy can take months—even
years—to achieve. I now know Dee’s cum face—and her puke
face.
We both call in sick Monday morning, both of us still feeling wrung out. We take separate showers and I borrow a pair of her
cousin’s sweatpants. Normally I’d have issues with going commando in another guy’s drawers, but these were clean and folded in the back of Dee’s closet, so the time lapse from the last time Warren wore them makes them okay. Plus, the idea of putting on my clothes from last night feels nasty.
Delores sits next to me on the couch, her Stompeez rabbit–clad feet on the coffee table, wrapped in a fluffy, purple robe that would look light-years from sexy on another girl. But because I know there’s nothing but smooth, bare flesh underneath it—it’s hot.
I flick on the television and we try to agree on a movie to watch. The problem is, Delores has a vagina, which means her taste in movies ranges from awful to nonexistent.
Don’t scowl at me—I’m only stating what every man in the world knows. The reason shitty movies like The English Patient and The King’s Speech win Academy Awards? Women have chickboners for Ralph Fiennes and Colin Firth. Sure, Braveheart won a bunch of well-deserved awards, but it wasn’t just because it’s the perfect movie. Mel Gibson, anyone? Enough said.
Dee defends a horrible chick flick suggestion. “I like best friend movies—they’re very empowering. Thelma & Louise, Beaches, Steel Magnolias—that one’s my favorite. I always imagine Kate and me like Ouiser and Clairee when we’re old.”
“What’s a Steel Magnolia? More importantly, what the fuck is an Ouiser?”
She looks simultaneously surprised and appalled. “You’ve never seen Steel Magnolias? Are you even human? It was one of Julia Roberts’s first movies.”
I throw up one hand as I object. “No—no frigging way am I watching Julia Roberts! Drew went through a whole year of Julia
Roberts as a kid and he still hasn’t recovered. To this day, Pretty
Woman quotes come flying out of his mouth uncontrollably. Not
happening.”
“Then what are we going to watch?”
I scroll through the on-demand movies until I spot a winner. “Conan the Barbarian. The greatest love story ever told.” Her nose wrinkles. “Normally I’d be into Schwarzeneggerflavored
eye candy, but I’m not in the mood. Let’s watch Steel
Magnolias.”
I shake my head. “No. It’ll be two hours of my life I’ll never get back.” Delores tucks her feet under her and rises to her knees. A sly, persuasive smile slides onto her face, which I’ve come to recognize as a sign she’s in the mood to get busy. She leans over me; I angle my head back to keep eye contact.
“Are you feeling better, Matthew? ’Cause I’m feeling a lot better.” I do a quick mental rundown of my faculties. “Yeah, I’m good.”
Her smile gets wider—more suggestive. “Then let’s make a bet. Whoever can make the other person come first gets to pick the movie? What do you say?”
It’s clear to me why Delores is such a successful chemist—she has such an amazingly innovative mind.
I scrape my teeth over my bottom lip thoughtfully. “I say this is a bet I’m going to really enjoy winning.”
She tilts back and slowly opens her robe. “Not as much as I’m going to enjoy making you lose.”
