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Chore Whore: Adventures of a Celebrity Personal Assistant

Review

Chore Whore: Adventures of a Celebrity Personal Assistant

Heather H. Howard's debut novel CHORE WHORE is a fun and frenetically paced new entry into the world of Chick Lit books. It's a humorous "former assistant tell-all book" --- think THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA and THE NANNY DIARIES.

Problem is, I'm not a chick.

So what drew this guy to this gal book?

As they used to say in Hollywood --- it's all about a good story.

Howard's story is Corki Brown's story, and vice versa. Corki is the heroine of CHORE WHORE. She's a 40-year-old woman with a 10-year-old son working as a personal assistant to Tinseltown's top stars. Howard, the author, worked for everyone from Tom Cruise to Jennifer Aniston and also has a 10-year-old son.

Like most of America, celebrities fascinate me. I cannot get enough of them. I read way too many magazines, watch way too much E!, and like being near the stars. Sort of. I live in West Hollywood, California, where much of CHORE WHORE takes place, and I've spotted Matthew Perry at the movies, Adam Sandler parallel parking, and Denzel Washington eating breakfast.

When we mere mortals see these glamour gods in everyday situations, we like to think that they're just like us. But they're not. Theirs is a world of gated mansions, Hermes backpacks, and iPod party favors. In CHORE WHORE, Howard pulls back the curtain of celebrity with a wink and a nod and lets us peek at the quirky lives of the stars. She lets us in on the not-so-secret secret that the stars are more messed up than we are.

Like many Chick Lit books, Corki is searching for something in her life. The twist is that she's actually looking for her life. As a personal assistant, Corki must cater to every crazy whim of her demanding clients. Her days are spent scouring Los Angeles for ridiculous items --- from extra large condoms to vintage toilet seats. But she's so busy mothering these spoiled stars that she has no time for herself and her son Blaise, who is acting out at school to get her attention.

Howard really nails the tiny details of La-La Land and the harried life of a personal assistant. The first 50 pages are a hectic blur of chores on top of chores. You feel like you're riding in the passenger seat of Corki's trusty eight-year-old SUV named Betty as she battles the maddening local traffic to complete her inane and mundane tasks. Imagine spending every day of your life running errands. Howard has more than imagined it --- thanks to her two decades of experience, you sense that some of the chores Corki must perform aren't too far from the truth.

For example, she opens the book with, "Today is December 18, Steven Spielberg's birthday. Although not formally declared a national holiday, in Hollywood, California, and its environs, it is celebrated as one." Everyone has to get Spielberg that special gift and one-up their rivals. Do the stars buy their own gifts? No. Their low-paid assistants must come up with a unique idea to wow the acclaimed director. Corki is known for her creative gift problem-solving skills and she comes up with a seaworthy solution. This first scene is like a good movie trailer --- it introduces the main characters and the plot in a memorable manner. You find out that Corki is a personal assistant, her life is tough, and celebrities are very insecure.

Howard protects the innocent (real-life stars) and creates a few fictional characters like aging star Jock Straupman to display the worst of the demanding behavior. To add a touch of realism to the story Howard sprinkles real silver screen stars throughout the book. John Travolta, Meg Ryan, Courtney Cox-Arquette, and others attend a dinner party thrown by one of Corki's clients --- two-time Academy Award-winning actress Lucy Bennet. Oh, and Corki also has to cook for this intimate gathering.

CHORE WHORE does have two minor problems. It rambles on a bit in places, and throughout the book Corki wants to get out of this life, but she has no plan. The blurb on the inside flap of the book is misleading. It says, "Corki devises a plan of escape --- to save herself, her family, and ultimately, her sanity." I will not ruin the ending, but Corki doesn't plan it, she falls into it.

Overall, CHORE WHORE is a wild ride through Hollywood with funny insights into the lives of the rich and famous. Before this book, I never realized what personal assistants did. Now I do. They work long hours for low pay with no benefits and they have to perform menial and sometimes degrading tasks for their oftentimes ungrateful bosses. Why do it then? The lure of the celebrity. But I now realize that most celebrities would die without their assistants, and the daily grind of these browbeaten workers makes for a good story in Howard's hands. Following in the footsteps of Chick Lit originator Helen Fielding, the next stop for Howard's CHORE WHORE could be the big screen. How do you think Howard will treat her personal assistant?


Review #2 by Amie Taylor

Bored with your job? Tired of the same old grind? Wishing for a little adventure? None of that is a problem for celebrity personal assistant Corki Brown. If anything, she would welcome a boring and routine day, but nothing is routine when you're catering to the whims of the ridiculously spoiled and pampered celebrities who populate her world.

You name it, Corki does it --- everything from whipping up impromptu gourmet dinners for ten, purchasing condoms, supervising the development of x-rated and exclusive photos, to returning the belongings of jilted lovers. Corki is a one-woman show.

She is also a single mom, singlehandedly raising her precocious and intelligent son, Blaise. Frequent calls from the principal and dismissal from an exclusive, private school keep her on her toes. Funny how schools frown on children who set off fire alarms, blow up volcanoes in science class, and set other children on fire.

Corki's worries mount when business drops off, and it begins to look as if maintaining the modest lifestyle of her and her son may be impossible. She begins to question her career choice and its viability as the sole means of support for an almost forty-year-old mom and her son.

CHORE WHORE will keep you laughing as Corki's many employers subject her to one indignity after another. However bad your boss may be, it's highly unlikely that he or she has physically assaulted you, asked you to carry a loaded gun in order to resolve a blackmail situation, or asked you to decorate their home and plan their wedding.

Heather H. Howard makes an interesting debut with this novel based on her experiences in Hollywood as personal assistant to the stars.

Reviewed by Sean Doorly on January 25, 2011

Chore Whore: Adventures of a Celebrity Personal Assistant
by Heather H. Howard

  • Publication Date: April 1, 2005
  • Genres: Fiction
  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: HarperEntertainment
  • ISBN-10: 0060723912
  • ISBN-13: 9780060723910