If you were a young star on one of the most iconic dramas in television history, you would assume that your career has been made and nothing could go wrong in your life. So you pick up this book, by one of the four most important actors on said show, and you find out that it’s not all sunshine and lollipops. In fact, this celebrity brings with her the sense of being a beautiful bird locked in a crystal cage --- seen but not really known, singing for you whenever you want, regardless of how sad, sick or tired it may be. 

This is a long way of saying that Jamie Lynn Sigler’s memoir of the offstage and onstage life of Meadow Soprano will become (like Lena Dunham’s FAMESICK) an excellent reminder that when you get what you wish for, you lose a lot of control in this brand-driven society. AND SO IT IS… is perhaps the most effective and heartbreaking memoir in a sea of like-minded books by women who have had to hide their personal lives from the public in order to keep working.

"Sigler...gives readers plenty of backstage drama but ultimately finds peace as she gets older... She should be so proud of herself for crafting a tale of bravery, growth and maturity and telling it with class and style."

Sigler has more spiritual goals in mind. Her early struggles as an actor lead her to find true grace for herself and those who have let her down throughout her life. (Sigler’s close friend, Christina Applegate, makes a similar case in YOU WITH THE SAD EYES.) But Sigler has a voice that not only tells the truth but expresses it in such a way as to shock and dishearten readers as she explains one situation after another where she was young and unknowing, and people worked their wiles to get things from her that she couldn’t even comprehend were happening. Sigler is no fool. Her adult self offers nothing but comfort and understanding to her younger self. In that way, this is a bold and meaningful read and a real how-to on what not to do as a budding actor.

As with so many other recent memoirs (Eleanor Coppola, Annabelle Gurwitch, Selma Blair, Dunham and Applegate), Sigler has been struggling for decades with multiple sclerosis, which she fought hard (with a staggering run of treatments and medications, experimental and prescribed) while continuing to appear not only on “The Sopranos” but also in two Disney Broadway shows and various sitcoms. In all of them, there are those who see what’s happening but don’t offer accommodations and others who do (like the beloved Michael Lehmann, sitcom director for the ages). 

All along, Sigler has the support of her mother and grandmother, strong Latinas with true faith in both her and God. The stories of their family life are some of the most beautiful in the book. From this foundation of unconditional love, she learns and grows as her talent becomes more under her control and her body less controllable. 

Sigler opens the book with a story about her son’s almost fatal immune system issues, and immediately we get the sense that we are reading the story of someone for whom the people in her life trump the celebrity functions of her acting world. She comes across as an intelligent, mature woman who has learned so much from both her career foibles and her medical hardships, and she chooses compassion, grace and peace over tabloid drama every time. 

Figures like James Gandolfini, the late great star of “The Sopranos”; baseball legend Lenny Dykstra’s truly decent son, Cutter, with whom she has her son, Beau; and her best friend, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, give her the same committed care and grace, love and time, that her family does. Her gratitude and all she has learned from them come shining through her prose at every turn. It is comforting to know that in a story featuring a ton of bad guys, there are some very good ones, too.

AND SO IT IS… offers both hope and compassion for people with chronic illnesses everywhere regardless of their line of work. Sigler also gives readers plenty of backstage drama but ultimately finds peace as she gets older, wresting back control of her career and her physical and mental states. She should be so proud of herself for crafting a tale of bravery, growth and maturity and telling it with class and style.