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Chapter One
Kitty Coleman
I woke this morning with a stranger in my bed. The head of blond hair beside me was
decidedly not my husband's. I did not know whether to be shocked or amused.
Well, I thought, here's a novel way to begin the new century.
Then I remembered the evening before and felt rather sick. I wondered where Richard was in
this huge house and how we were meant to swap back. Everyone else herethe man beside
me includedwas far more experienced in the mechanics of these matters than I. Than
we. Much as Richard bluffed last night, he was just as much in the dark as me, though he
was more keen. Much more keen. It made me wonder.
I nudged the sleeper with my elbow, gently at first and then harder until at last he woke
with a snort.
"Out you go," I said. And he did, without a murmur. Thankfully he didn't try to
kiss me. How I stood that beard last night I'll never rememberthe claret helped, I
suppose. My cheeks are red with scratches.
When Richard came in a few minutes later, clutching his clothes in a bundle, I could
barely look at him. I was embarrassed, and angry tooangry that I should feel
embarrassed and yet not expect him to feel so as well. It was all the more infuriating
that he simply kissed me, said, "Hello, darling," and began to dress, I could
smell her perfume on his neck.
Yet I could say nothing. As I myself have so often said, I am open mindedI pride
myself on it. Those words bitenow.
I lay watching Richard dress, and found myself thinking of my brother. Harry always used
to tease me for thinking too muchthough he refused to concede that he was at all
responsible for encouraging me. But all those evenings spent reviewing with me what his
tutors had taught him in the morninghe said it was to help him remember itwhat
did that do but teach me to think and speak my mind? Perhaps he regretted it later. I
shall never know now. I am only just out of mourning for him, but some days it feels as if
I am still clutching that telegram.
Harry would be mortified to see where his teaching has led. Not that one has to be clever
for this sort of thingmost of them downstairs are stupid as buckets of coal, my
blond beard among them. Not one could I have a proper conversation withI had to
resort to the wine.
Frankly I'm relieved not to be of this setto paddle in its shallows occasionally is
quite enough for me. Richard I suspect feels differently, but he has married the wrong
wife if he wanted that sort of life. Or perhaps it is I who chose badlythough I
would never have thought so once, back when we were mad for each other.
I think Richard has made me do this to show me he is not as conventional as I feared. But
it has had the opposite effect on me. He has become everything I had not thought he would
be when we married. He has become ordinary.
I feel so flat this morning. Daddy and Harry would have laughed at me, but I secretly
hoped that the change in the century would bring a change in us all; that England would
miraculously slough off her shabby black coat to reveal something glittering and new. It
is only eleven hours into the twentieth century, yet I know very well that nothing has
changed but a number.
Enough. They are to ride today, which is not for meI shall escape with my coffee to
the library. It will undoubtedly be empty.
Richard Coleman
I thought being with another woman would bring Kitty back, that jealousy would open her
bedroom door to me again. Yet two weeks later she has not let me in any more than before.
I do not like to think that I am a desperate man, but I do not understand why my wife is
being so difficult. I have provided a decent life for her and yet she is still unhappy,
though she cannotor will notsay why.
It is enough to drive any man to change wives, if only for a night.
Maude Coleman
When Daddy saw the angel on the grave next to ours he cried, "What the devil?"
Mummy just laughed.
I looked and looked until my neck ached. It hung above us, one foot forward, a hand
pointing toward heaven. It was wearing a long robe with a square neck, and it had loose
hair that flowed onto its wings. It was looking down toward me, but no matter how hard I
stared it did not seem to see me.
Mummy and Daddy began to argue. Daddy does not like the angel. I don't know if Mummy likes
it or notshe didn't say. I think the urn Daddy has had put on our own grave bothers
her more.
I wanted to sit down but didn't dare. It was very cold, too cold to sit on stone, and
besides, the Queen is dead, which I think means no one can sit down, or play, or do
anything comfortable.
I heard the bells ringing last night when I was in bed, and when Nanny came in this
morning she told me the Queen died yesterday evening. I ate my porridge very slowly, to
see if it tasted different from yesterday's, now that the Queen is gone. But it tasted
just the sametoo salty. Mrs. Baker always makes it that way.
Everyone we saw on our way to the cemetery was dressed in black. I wore a gray wool dress
and a white pinafore, which I might have worn anyway but which Nanny said was fine for a
girl to wear when someone died. Girls don't have to wear black. Nanny helped me to dress.
She let me wear my black-and-white plaid coat and matching hat, but she wasn't sure about
my rabbit's-fur muff, and I had to ask Mummy, who said it didn't matter what I wore. Mummy
wore a blue silk dress and wrap, which did not please Daddy.
While they were arguing about the angel I buried my face in my muff. The fur is very soft.
Then I heard a noise, like stone being tapped, and when I raised my head I saw a pair of
blue eyes looking at me from over the headstone next to ours. I stared at them, and then
the face of a boy appeared from behind the stone. His hair was full of mud, and his cheeks
were dirty with it too. He winked at me, then disappeared behind the headstone.
I looked at Mummy and Daddy, who had walked a little way up the path to view the angel
from another place. They had not seen the boy. I walked backward between the graves, my
eyes on them. When I was sure they were not looking I ducked behind the stone.
The boy was leaning against it, sitting on his heels.
"Why do you have mud in your hair?" I asked.
"Been down a grave," he said.
I looked at him closely. There was mud on him everywhereon his jacket, on his knees,
on his shoes. There were even bits of it in his eyelashes.
"Can I touch the fur?" he asked.
"It's a muff," I said. "My muff."
"Can I touch it?"
"No." Then I felt bad saying that, so I held out the muff.
The boy spit on his fingers and wiped them on his jacket, then reached out and stroked the
fur.
"What were you doing down a grave?" I asked.
"Helping our pa."
"What does your father do?"
"He digs the graves, of course. I helps him."
Then we heard a sound, like a kitten mewing. We peeked over the headstone and a girl
standing in the path looked straight into my eyes, just as I had with the boy. She was
dressed all in black, and was very pretty, with bright brown eyes and long lashes and
creamy skin. Her brown hair was long and curly and so much nicer than mine, which hangs
flat like laundry and isn't one color or another. Grandmother calls mine ditch-water
blond, which may be true but isn't very kind. Grandmother always speaks her mind.
The girl reminded me of my favorite chocolates, whipped hazelnut
creams, and I knew just from looking at her that I wanted her for my best friend. I don't
have a best friend, and have been praying for one. I have often wondered, as I sit in St.
Anne's getting colder and colder (why are churches always cold?), if prayers really work,
but it seems this time God has answered them.
"Use your handkerchief, Livy dear, there's a darling." The girl's mother was
coming up the path, holding the hand of a younger girl. A tall man with a ginger beard
followed them. The younger girl was not so pretty. Though she looked like the other girl,
her chin was not so pointed, her hair not so curly, her lips not so big. Her eyes were
hazel rather than brown, and she looked at everything as if nothing surprised her. She
spotted the boy and me immediately.
"Lavinia," the older girl said, shrugging her shoulders and tossing her head so
that her curls bounced. "Mama, I want you and Papa to call me Lavinia, not
Livy."
I decided then and there that I would never call her Livy.
"Don't be rude to your mother, Livy," the man said. "You're Livy to us and
that's that. Livy is a fine name. When you're older we'll call you Lavinia."
Lavinia frowned at the ground.
"Now stop all this crying," he continued. "She was a good queen and she
lived a long life, but there's no need for a girl of five to weep quite so much. Besides,
you'll frighten Ivy May." He nodded at the sister.
I looked at Lavinia again. As far as I could see she was not crying at all, though she was
twisting a handkerchief around her fingers. I waved at her to come.
Lavinia smiled. When her parents turned their backs she stepped off the path and behind
the headstone.
"I'm five as well," I said when she was standing next to us. "Though I'll
be six in March."
"Is that so?" Lavinia said. "I'll be six in February."
"Why do you call your parents Mama and Papa? I call mine Mummy and Daddy."
"Mama and Papa is much more elegant." Lavinia stared at the boy, who was
kneeling by the headstone. "What is your name, please?"
"Maude," I answered before I realized she was speaking to the boy.
"Simon."
"You are a very dirty boy."
"Stop," I said.
Lavinia looked at me. "Stop what?"
"He's a gravedigger, that's why he's muddy."
Lavinia took a step backward.
"An apprentice gravedigger," Simon said. "I was a mute for the undertakers
first, but our pa took me on once I could use a spade."
"There were three mutes at my grandmother's funeral," Lavinia said. "One of
them was whipped for laughing."
"My mother says there are not so many funerals like that anymore," I said.
"She says they are too dear and the money should be spent on the living."
"Our family always has mutes at its funerals. I shall have mutes at mine."
"Are you dying, then?" Simon asked.
"Of course not!"
"Did you leave your nanny at home as well?" I asked, thinking we should talk
about something else before Lavinia got upset and left.
She flushed. "We don't have a nanny. Mama is perfectly able to look after us
herself."
I didn't know any children who didn't have a nanny.
Lavinia was looking at my muff. "Do you like my angel, then?" she asked.
"My father let me choose it."
"My father doesn't like it," I declared, though I knew I shouldn't repeat what
Daddy had said. "He called it sentimental nonsense."
Lavinia frowned. "Well, Papa hates your urn. Anyway, what's wrong with my
angel?"
"I like it," the boy said.
"So do I," I lied.
"I think it's lovely." Lavinia sighed. "When I go to heaven I want to be
taken up by an angel just like that."
"It's the nicest angel in the cemetery," the boy said. "And I know 'em all.
There's thirty-one of 'em. D'you want me to show 'em to you?"
"Thirty-one is a prime number," I said. "It isn't divisible by anything
except one and itself." Daddy had just explained to me about prime numbers, though I
hadn't understood it all.
Simon took a piece of coal from his pocket and began to draw on the back of the headstone.
Soon he had drawn a skull and crossbonesround eye-sockets, a black triangle for a
nose, rows of square teeth, and a shadow scratched on one side of the face.
"Don't do that," I said. He ignored me. "You can't do that."
"I have. Lots. Look at the stones all round us."
I looked at our family grave. At the very bottom of the plinth that held the urn, a tiny
skull and crossbones had been scratched. Daddy would be furious if he knew it was there. I
saw then that every stone around us had a skull and crossbones on it. I had never seen
them before.
"I'm going to draw one on every grave in the cemetery," he continued.
"Why do you draw them?" I asked. "Why a skull and crossbones?"
"Reminds you what's underneath, don't it? It's all bones down there, whatever you may
put on the grave."
"Naughty boy," Lavinia said.
Simon stood up. "I'll draw one for you," he said. "I'll draw one on the
back of your angel."
"Don't you dare," Lavinia said.
Simon immediately dropped the piece of coal.
Lavinia looked around as if she were about to leave.
"I know a poem," Simon said suddenly.
"What poem? Tennyson?"
"Dunno whose son. It's like this:
There was a young man at Nunhead
Who awoke in his coffin of lead;
`It is cosy enough,'
He remarked in a huff,
`But I wasn't aware I was dead.'"
"Ugh! That's disgusting!" Lavinia cried. Simon and I laughed.
"Our pa says lots of people've been buried alive," Simon said. "He says
he's heard 'em, scrabbling inside their coffins as he's tossing dirt on 'em."
"Really? Mummy's afraid of being buried alive," I said.
"I can't bear to hear this," Lavinia cried, covering her ears. "I'm going
back." She went through the graves toward her parents. I wanted to follow her but
Simon began talking again.
"Our granpa's buried here in the meadow."
"He never was."
"He is."
"Show me his grave."
Simon pointed at a row of wooden crosses over the path from us. Paupers' gravesMummy
had told me about them, explaining that land had been set aside for people who had no
money to pay for a proper plot.
"Which cross is his?" I asked.
"He don't have one. Cross don't last. We planted a rosebush there, so we always know
where he is. Stole it from one of the gardens down the bottom of the hill."
I could see a stump of a bush, cut right back for the winter. We live at the bottom of the
hill, and we have lots of roses at the front. Perhaps that rosebush was ours.
"He worked here too," Simon said. "Same as our pa and me. Said it's the
nicest cemetery in London. Wouldn't have wanted to be buried in any of t'others. He had
stories to tell about t'others. Piles of bones everywhere. Bodies buried with just a sack
of soil over 'em. Phew, the smell!" Simon waved his hand in front of his nose.
"And men snatching bodies in the night. Here he were at least safe and sound, with
the boundary wall being so high, and the spikes on top."
"I have to go now," I said. I didn't want to look scared like Lavinia, but I
didn't like hearing about the smell of bodies.
Simon shrugged. "I could show you things."
"Maybe another time." I ran to catch up with our families, who were walking
along together. Lavinia took my hand and squeezed it and I was so pleased I kissed her.
As we walked hand-in-hand up the hill I could see out of the corner of my eye a figure
like a ghost jumping from stone to stone, following us and then running ahead. I wished we
had not left him.
I nudged Lavinia. "He's a funny boy, isn't he?" I said, nodding at his shadow as
he went behind an obelisk.
"I like him," Lavinia said, "even if he talks about awful things."
"Don't you wish we could run off the way he does?"
Lavinia smiled at me. "Shall we follow him?"
I hadn't expected her to say that. I glanced at the othersonly Lavinia's sister was
looking at us. "Let's," I whispered.
She squeezed my hand as we ran off to find him.
Kitty Coleman
I don't dare tell anyone or I will be accused of treason, but I was terribly excited to
hear the Queen is dead. The dullness I have felt since New Year's vanished, and I had to
work very hard to appear appropriately sober. The turning of the century was merely a
change in numbers, but now we shall have a true change in leadership, and I can't help but
think Edward is more truly representative of us than his mother.
For now, though, nothing has changedwe were expected to troop up to the cemetery and
make a show of mourning, even though none of the Royal Family is buried there, nor is the
Queen to be. Death is there, and that is enough, I suppose.
That blasted cemetery. I have never liked it.
To be fair, it is not the fault of the place itself, which has a lugubrious charm, with
its banks of graves stacked on top of one anothergranite headstones, Egyptian
obelisks, Gothic spires, plinths topped with columns, weeping ladies, angels, and of
course, urnswinding up the hill to the glorious Lebanon cedar at the top. I am even
willing to overlook some of the more preposterous monumentsostentatious
representations of a family's status. But the sentiments that the place encourages in
mourners are too overblown for my taste. Moreover, it is the Colemans' cemetery, not my
family's. I miss the little churchyard in Lincolnshire where Mummy and Daddy are buried
and where there is now a stone for Harry, even if his body lies somewhere in southern
Africa.
The excess of it allwhich our own ridiculous urn now contributes tois too
much. How utterly out of scale it is to its surroundings! If only Richard had consulted me
first. It was unlike himfor all his faults he is a rational man, and must have seen
that the urn was too big. I suspect the hand of his mother in the choosing. Her taste has
always been formidable.
It was amusing today to watch him splutter over the angel that has been erected on the
grave next to the urn. (Far too close to it, as it happensthey look as if they may
bash each other at any moment.) It was all I could do to keep a straight face.
"How dare they inflict their taste on us!" he said. "The thought of having
to look at this sentimental nonsense every time we visit turns my stomach."
"It is sentimental, but harmless," I replied "At least the marble's
Italian."
"I don't give a hang about the marble! I don't want that angel next to our
grave."
"Have you thought that perhaps they're saying the same about the urn?"
"There's nothing wrong with our urn!"
"And they would say that there's nothing wrong with their angel."
"The angel looks ridiculous next to the urn. It's far too close, for one thing."
"Exactly," I said. "You didn't leave them room for
anything."
"Of course I did. Another urn would have looked fine. Perhaps a slightly smaller
one."
I raised my eyebrows the way I do when Maude has said something foolish. "Or even the
same size," Richard conceded. "Yes, that could have looked quite impressive, a
pair of urns. Instead we have this nonsense."
And on and on we went. While I don't think much of the blank-faced angels dotted around
the cemetery, they bother me less than the urns, which seem a peculiar thing to put on a
grave when one thinks that they were used by the Romans as receptacles for human ashes. A
pagan symbol for a Christian society. But then, so is all the Egyptian symbolism one sees
here as well. When I pointed this out to Richard he huffed and puffed but had no response
other than to say, "That urn adds dignity and grace to the Coleman grave."
I don't know about that. Utter banality and misplaced symbolism are rather more like it. I
had the sense not to say so.
He was still going on about the angel when who should appear but its owners, dressed in
full mourning. Albert and Gertrude Waterhouseno relation to the painter, they
admitted. (Just as wellI want to scream when I see his overripe paintings at the
Tate. The Lady of Shalott in her boat looks as if she has just taken opium.) We had never
met them before, though they have owned their grave for several years. They are rather
nondescripthe a ginger-bearded, smiling type, she one of those short women whose
waists have been ruined by children so that their dresses never fit properly. Her hair is
crinkly rather than curly, and escapes its pins.
Her elder daughter, Lavinia, who looks to be Maude's age, has lovely hair, glossy brown
and curly. She's a bossy, spoiled little thingapparently her father bought the angel
at her insistence. Richard nearly choked where he heard this. And she was wearing a black
dress trimmed with craperather vulgar and unnecessary for a child that young.
Of course Maude has taken an instant liking to the girl. When we all took a turn around
the cemetery together Lavinia kept dabbing at her eyes with a black-edged handkerchief,
weeping as we passed the grave of a little boy dead fifty years, I just hope Maude doesn't
begin copying her. I can't bear such nonsense. Maude is very sensible but I could see how
attracted she was to the girl's behavior. They disappeared off togetherLord knows
what they got up to. They came back the best of friends.
I think it highly unlikely Gertrude Waterhouse and I would ever be the best of friends.
When she said yet again how sad it was about the Queen, I couldn't help but comment that
Lavinia seemed to be enjoying her mourning tremendously.
Gertrude Waterhouse said nothing for a moment, then remarked, "That's a lovely dress.
Such an unusual shade of blue."
Richard snorted. We'd had a fierce argument about my dress. In truth I was now rather
embarrassed about my choicenot one adult I'd seen since leaving the house was
wearing anything but black. My dress was dark blue, but still I stood out far more than
I'd intended.
Excerpted from FALLING ANGELS © Copyright 2003 by Tracy Chevallier. Reprinted with permission by Plume, an imprint of Penguin Putnam. All rights reserved.
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