Due to some personal grudges my parents hold against the medical and legal industries, I'm the only Jewish child I know who was forbidden to become a doctor or a lawyer. This did not leave me with many options. Professional sports were out (see Jewish child, above), as was a career in marine biology (ibid) or aromatherapy (ibid).
Instead I studied English. This went pretty well, so after college I decided to go straight into a Ph.D. program. Somehow this ended up taking longer than medical school or law school - combined. When I finally finished, I discovered that unlike doctors and lawyers, I was not particularly employable. No one was willing to pay me to lecture on the themes of