The island of East Pukapuka lies in the path of a tsunami that will kill everyone but Butter, a girl more worried about the lives of the injured animals she cares for than her own. Butter is rescued by a Loggerhead Sea Turtle who carries her away on his back. As she and her exhausted savior begin to sink, the girl is plucked out of the sea by Jesus Dobby, the boozy owner of a salvage boat who is thrilled to have found a genuine “turtle-girl” hybrid.

Dante Wheeler “dies” in a terrible skiing accident and revives in a twilight state.  He then heads to Polynesia, where he encounters Ophelia, a beautiful blond policewoman who agrees to transport him to East Pukapuka.

Jope and Ratu, a pair of bumbling pirates, steal a vessel laden with cocaine. They are hotly pursued by the drug-runners’ hit man Albino Paul, a descendent of cannibals, whose goal is to reclaim his heritage.

Fate pokes its fickle finger at the lives of these hapless souls.  In Alpaugh’s world, there are no morality lessons and even the gods are incompetent. His characters are fatally flawed, hilarious, and heartbreakingly human.