Skip to main content

All the Young Men: A Memoir of Love, AIDS, and Chosen Family in the American South

Review

All the Young Men: A Memoir of Love, AIDS, and Chosen Family in the American South

In ALL THE YOUNG MEN, a young woman finds a significant role for herself as an advocate for AIDS patients, based largely on her strong character and refusal to be defined by societal norms.

More than 30 years ago, Ruth Coker Burks was helping a friend who was receiving cancer treatment at a hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas, when she overheard nurses arguing over who would be forced to offer care to someone in a room marked “Biohazard.” Curious, she sneaked in there and found a dying young man who wanted to see his mother. Instinctively, she offered him comfort and later would inter his ashes in a cookie jar in her family’s cemetery plot.

"Burks’ story is not over. ALL THE YOUNG MEN, created with the assistance of bestselling writer Kevin Carr O’Leary, has brought her charitable actions to light, and that in turn has helped not only her but also the LGBTQ community at large."

Word spread, and Burks began to receive mysterious phone calls. These calls led to more meetings with these sad cases --- young men suffering from AIDS, many on the brink of death. Some had returned from the big cities to rural Arkansas to seek love from their families, only to be completely rejected by relatives following tenets of fundamentalist religion. One such patient was told by his mother, in Burks’ presence, “Your soul is rot.” Burks, who had endured a dysfunctional upbringing and had a child by an ex-husband unwilling to give up his philandering ways, began to pour her sympathy, time and what money she could scrape together to support these fading lives, and invest time in possibilities for treatment and a cure for the disease. 

Burks was at times defiant, having little tolerance for the majority of people who were terrified of the disease and disgusted by its victims. She became a participant in the gay underground, and made numerous tight, tender friendships with AIDS sufferers, once even preaching at her pastor and a church committee for their unforgiving attitude towards her newfound companions. She would become a consultant to the government regarding the treatment of and education about the disease, garnering mostly secret admiration for her work, nearly all done behind the scenes and with no compensation other than the deep gratitude of those she assisted. 

Burks’ story is not over. ALL THE YOUNG MEN, created with the assistance of bestselling writer Kevin Carr O’Leary, has brought her charitable actions to light, and that in turn has helped not only her but also the LGBTQ community at large. Her assertive willingness to offer simple, human kindness that others in her community could not be bothered to spare should now make her a heroine in the eyes of many, even those who once looked down on her for her efforts.

Reviewed by Barbara Bamberger Scott on December 18, 2020

All the Young Men: A Memoir of Love, AIDS, and Chosen Family in the American South
by Ruth Coker Burks with Kevin Carr O'Leary

  • Publication Date: November 9, 2021
  • Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction
  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Grove Press
  • ISBN-10: 0802157254
  • ISBN-13: 9780802157256