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Imagine that your family has plenty of money, old money, and that you were born with good looks, a good mind, and a talent for writing. You'd have it made, right? Not according to Hope Donahue, who holds a Masters Degree in Journalism and has written this painful account of her obsession with plastic surgery. The book details a period in her life beginning in her early twenties when she embarked on an addictive quest for a more beautiful face.
The only child of an obsessive mother ("she showers two or three times a day") and a diffident, hypochondriacal father, both loving parents but hampered by their own fears and foibles, Hope began to find comfort like no other in the attentions of her plastic surgeon. If Dr. S is as she described him, then one prays he'll be shut down, but we suspect he's fairly typical of the physicians who prey on the insecurities of wealthy women. Charismatic and cool, he could be all things to all girls, and Hope was dying for his love, willing to undergo the needle and the knife to gain a few moments of his time.
Her infatuation with Dr. S set her on the course that eventually ended in a dark, frightening crash of self-esteem. Obsessed about her face, particularly her nose, she went again and again to get it fixed, submitting to other treatments, most horribly painful, leaving her bruised and bloodied but, somehow, more content. For a brief while. Then the need reasserted itself. The worst mutilation she volunteered for was breast enlargement, something she had no need for and that had long-term consequences.
Her parents were puzzled and upset by her repeated surgeries and finally stopped bankrolling them. Her roommates confessed that they despised her and wanted her out. Her boyfriend turned out to be a married man who considered her nothing but a bit on the side. All of this led her downhill, to seek attention and income from pornographers who offered her big cash for photo shoots. Imagining a Playboy style scenario, Hope was unprepared for the porn scene and, luckily, backed out before she got embroiled in that seamy underworld.
She was fortunate, and her story acknowledges that. She found a counselor, got a simple job, started writing, and began to take feeble steps down the road to recovery. Along the way were more surgeries and Botox injections --- all expensive and all unneeded. Yet they made her feel good in a way that nothing else could.
The book's high point is another surgery --- one to reduce her breasts. This is a victory for Hope, a reversion to normal body shape and an acceptance of herself that makes the reader heave a great sigh of relief.
Donahue is able to recreate the sad, frantic and painful world in which she once lived in stark detail. She treats with frankness not only her own desperate desire for perfection, but also the general suffering of the obsessive personality. Hope is well named --- because this book will offer hope to others locked in a similar hell.
--- Reviewed by Barbara Bamberger Scott, author of WITH IT, soon to be released by Behler Publications.
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