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Linda Greenlaw (author of THE HUNGRY OCEAN and THE LOBSTER CHRONICLES) writes of her adventures at sea in such passionate, loving terms that she inspires fishing dreams in the most landlubberish of readers. This collection of "true fishermen's" stories was gathered in one prolonged lunch with her best friend Alden at Portland, Maine's Dry Dock Bar. The tales are separated by entertaining short extra pieces called "Bar Snacks."
Greenlaw approaches the lunch nervously thanks to her determination to coax Alden to retire from fishing because of his heart condition. She fears fishing will be the death of him, but she knows he won't accept her guidance in any remotely graceful manner. The author describes Alden as her mentor. He taught her countless lessons about fishing and about life, and gave Greenlaw her first experience as a ship's captain. However, Greenlaw adds affectionately, he has also given her the world's worst advice in all areas. Thanks to his financial counsel, she disregards student loans and credit card payments. She also credits Alden with teaching her countless bad habits. He's lacking in the social graces and has taken pains to never learn a thing from her. Yet Greenlaw adores Alden and calls him "the most amazing man I've ever encountered."
Before the subject of Alden's ill health is approached, a random comment from him launches Greenlaw into the first story, a musing on an ex-beau, Alan, and his incredibly poor luck as a fisherman. That bad mojo included wrecking a friend's motorcycle, mechanical problems with his boat, poor fishing, sunken ships, and being cheated. He was also lied to, stolen from, punched by a crew member, and on and on.
After Alan's story is finished, Greenlaw gathers her courage to introduce the subject of Alden's health as they order lunch. A storm threatens, which inspires Greenlaw to relate her tale at sea during "the storm of the century." At the time of the storm, in March 1993, Greenlaw was captain of a lobster fishing rig. She chose to ignore warnings to head to shore --- a decision she profoundly regretted when the storm hit.
Alden then gleefully one-ups Greenlaw's tale of terror. And so it goes, one story after the other. The lunch and storytelling last until after ten at night. The tales consist of horror stories and a ghost story, high adventure and low humor. In one yarn, a whore awakens to find herself at sea on a fishing expedition; in another, Greenlaw encounters a legendary and charming outlaw. All the stories celebrate the love between fishermen and the sea.
If I sometimes feel Greenlaw describes the technical details of fishing a little too thoroughly (a tangled wire is a tangled wire, and telling what it is, how it tangled and how to untangle it slows the story), I suspect others won't necessarily agree with me. At any rate, the book's yarns are so enthralling that any mini dissertation is a mere minor distraction. Indeed, Greenlaw's love for fishing and the sea invigorate her prose. Her beautifully compelling description of life at sea is so irresistible, it's all I can do not to head for the nearest fishing vessel and (try to) sign on when I read:
"The ocean has a way of swallowing your troubles, leaving you with a carefree feeling, while at the same time enforcing the notion that you are indeed the master of your own destiny. So, if you are making any headway at all toward a desired destination, you become so content that you dream of staying offshore forever.
The simplest things became astounding. The commonplace became remarkable."
The same can be said for ALL FISHERMEN ARE LIARS, a book that will hook readers from the launch and make them glad that they didn't allow it to be the "one that got away."
--- Reviewed by Terry Miller Shannon
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