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It's happened to all of us: the friendship you thought would enrich your life forever ends because of death, disinterest, argument, man problems, loss of common interest, distance, illness, or inertia. While it's not at all surprising to hear of love lost, it is somehow startling and fascinating when friendship ends. That person who knew you like no other, to whom you confided all your dreams and secrets, is no longer in your life --- leaving an enormous and sometimes heartbreaking gap.
In this nonfiction anthology of essays, twenty well-known female writers tell their true tales of friendship lost. Two authors, once best friends, share separate perspectives of their parting.
I was delighted to discover names of authors I admire, including Ann Hood, whose "How I Lost Her" made me weep. Other standouts include the horribly disturbing "Flawless" by Lydia Millet (I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed it, but I'll be thinking about it for a very long time). "Want" by Nuar Alsadir, describing a friend who takes imitation to a distressing level, also intrigued and bothered me. The black-humored "Tenure" by Patricia Marx, in which the author wryly describes herself as "the most easygoing, accommodating, nonjudgmental, and unassuming friend in the world" was the one tale that made me laugh ruefully.
Curiously, Diana Abu-Jaber's "In-Betweens," telling of the author's childhood relationship with two boys, is the only story in the anthology describing a lost friendship with a male. I can't help but wonder why that is, and if it's representative.
The theme of friendship won and lost is universal and riveting; each story in this collection is sincere and regretful. Several tales struck a chord, reminding me of my own lost friends. Others fascinated me by telling of friendships unlike any I've encountered. However, as much as I enjoyed THE FRIEND WHO GOT AWAY, I couldn't help but notice that tale after tale of loss can make for a downbeat reading experience. Despite that minor quibble (easily solved by interspersing these stories with other, lighter reading), I definitely recommend this thought-provoking and intriguing anthology.
--- Reviewed by Terry Miller Shannon (Terryms2001@yahoo.com)
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