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Reading is often a solitary and silent pastime. Occasionally the solitude may be interrupted by a desire to share a humorous line with someone within earshot. Sometimes, the reader laughing out loud can break the silence generally present when reading. While reading WHEN THE TUNA WENT DOWN TO TEXAS: How Bill Parcells Led the Cowboys Back to the Promised Land, by Mike Shropshire, this reader had numerous moments of laughing out loud and savoring classic comments by the author in hopes of remembering those lines for future use.
In the mid-90s the Dallas Cowboys were a football juggernaut, destroying opponents on a weekly basis. Dynasties end for many reasons. To some degree the Cowboys' reign ended because new rules were put in place that limited the ability of franchises to string championship seasons together. Salary caps and free agency, now an essential part of the NFL player agreement, make it far more difficult for a team to build and maintain the foundation of players that allow a team to continually repeat winning seasons. But free agency and salary caps were not the only reasons for the downfall of the Cowboys. Several cracks in the foundation of the empire were self-inflicted. The story of the Cowboys' road to mediocrity began with a star player and two precious little hookers.
The star player was wide receiver Michael Irvin, whose liaison with working girls led to a felony drug possession charge. Even a celebrity such as Irvin faced danger in the Texas criminal justice system. As a former prosecutor in Dallas observed to Shropshire, "I don't really know the facts of this particular case, but if the prosecution can get a couple of Lutherans on the jury, then Irvin will get a maximum sentence." The criminal prosecution destroyed the franchise. Former Green Bay Packer star Jerry Kramer observed, "Whenever I see the Cowboys on TV, I don't know who to root for --- the defense or the prosecution. No, this will never be America's Team, if it is then woe for America."
The man in charge of the Cowboys during their trip from the top of the heap to the bottom was Jerry Jones, an Arkansas businessman described by many as coming across "like the banjo picker in Deliverance." Shropshire interviewed Jones for Sports Illustrated immediately after the purchase of the franchise and the two men shared grudging respect. Jones was actively involved in every aspect of running the Cowboys. If allowed by the NFL he would have considered coaching the team, but that wish was not to be approved. Instead, he hired coaches that he could control. As long as the Cowboys had great talent, total control was successful. But as the talent level of America's team declined, the need for an outstanding coach grew. Before the Parcells era would commence, Jones hired Dave Campo. As Shropshire observes, "the Dave Campo regime shortly became a living-color illustration of what happens when the Peter Principle collides head-on with Murphy's Law. Since Campo was universally hailed as a 'nice guy,' he could also serve as exhibit A to the Leo Durocher doctrine --- the one that mandates where nice guys will inevitably finish." After a losing season in 2002, Dave Campo was fired.
Enter Bill Parcells. Football fans were stunned. Sports Illustrated voiced the opinion of the country: "Are You Kidding Me?" But it was no joke. Jones gave Parcells full and free reign to run the team, and the future Hall of Fame inductee did not disappoint his owner. WHEN THE TUNA WENT DOWN TO TEXAS gives the football fanatic an outline for building or rebuilding a franchise. Start with a head coach who remembers every crucial play that cost him a game during his coaching career as well as the assistant coach who designed and called the play. When the opportunity presents itself, hire that innovative assistant coach for your new team. Next, find a few quality players as a foundation for the team. Parcells believed strongly in the "80-20" theory that goes with any successful organization. Under that rule, the 20 percent of the workforce that's the most talented always generates 80 percent of the positive results. For the woeful Cowboys, even that 20 percent was a difficult task.
Parcells persevered. Somehow he led the Cowboys to the playoffs in that first year. Shropshire chronicles the season, some games in detail, others in passing. Fanatical fans may find WHEN THE TUNA WENT DOWN TO TEXAS light on statistics and fantasy football minutiae. Most fans will enjoy this book for what it is: an irreverent and humorous look at the game of football and three of its icons --- a franchise, an owner and the Tuna.
--- Reviewed by Stuart Shiffman
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