We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive
"I lose before the cards are dealt." That's how Laurie Notaro sees
herself in WE THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE PRETTIER: True Tales of the
Dorkiest Girl Alive. But with this, her fourth book, she definitely
is not a loser and "dorky" can be translated to "funny" with very
little stretch. Formerly a freelance writer for magazines and
family newspapers, Notaro uses some very colorful, non-family
oriented language to describe her "dorky" life in this fast-paced
series of adventures.
There are rants like "National Stupidity Day" that describes the
"brick brained" bimbo who refused to understand why Fed Ex could
not trace her package without a tracking slip. No amount of
explanation will placate her, and she is willing to argue until
closing time and everyone behind her in line is forced to come back
the next day.
Others are vignettes, anecdotes and pure stand-up routines. There
is even a poignant piece about Mill Avenue in Tempe, AZ before it
was converted into a slick, commercial money magnet. She reminisces
about when it was a cool place, peopled by ASU students, quirky
shops and local eateries.
My favorites are Laurie's "everywoman" observations, like the one
recounting the futile boundary talks she has with her mother. "You
know there are some things mothers and daughters should never
share. Just because I'm back in therapy doesn't mean I'm now a
blank slate on which you now can feel free to inflict a whole other
lifetime's worth of damage on." And her mother's instructions for
her funeral will make you laugh out loud; Mom trying to exercise
control even from the beyond.
Many will also relate to the "No Size L" piece where our
average-size dork discovers that many exclusive dress shops keep
all clothing over a size 6 in the back room, to be hauled out only
when a "fatty" requests a certain item. She still has no luck
finding anything to buy when all the tank tops on display are the
size of panty liners.
Take this book to the beach, and everyone will think you're a dork
as you sit there and read with that big smile on your face.