Table of Contents

Introduction:
Sleigh Bells Ring

Princess Mia on surviving the holidays

I. Holiday Etiquette:
Princess Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo receives lessons on how to work the holidays, beautifully

Everything from holiday cards to gift giving, by Dowager Princess Clarisse Renaldo, romance expert Tina Hakim Baba, and royal stylists Paolo and Sebastiano

II. Hanukkah Lights:
Royal Consort Michael Moscovitz on the most American of Jewish traditions: the Festival of Lights

Michael on the Maccabees, plus the complete lyrics to "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel"

III. Yuletide Past and Present:
Lilly Moscovitz, social commentator of local renown, Sheds light on holiday practices ancient and obscure, and Frank Gianini, Algebra teacher, reveals a practice druidic in nature

Egg-balancing, leather bikinis, wassail, and faux mistletoe

IV. Christmas Around the World:
Lilly Moscovitz in New York City, Dowager Princess Clarisse Renaldo in Genovia, Hank Thermopolis in Versailles, Indiana, and Princess Mia all around the world
Plus the top ten holiday movies, annotated by Lilly and Mia

V. Xmas Xtras:
Princess Mia's mother, father, grandmother, and two schoolmates illuminate various Christmas traditions

The debunking of Santa Clause, the Christmas Star, and Good King Wenceslas, as well as a Christmas tree of artistic merit and pop culture interest and royal advent calendars

VI. Celebrating Kwanzaa:
Shameeka Taylor, Albert Einstein High School cheerleader, on the yearly tradition of African-American pride and commemoration

Also: a fun cheer to perform in solidarity and while you're waiting for the benne cakes to bake

VII. Happy New Year!:
Tina Hakim Baba on the all-important New Year's kiss, musical genius Boris Pelkowski on "Auld Lang Syne," and more

And how to say "Happy New Year!" the world over

VIII. Chinese New Year:
Princess Mia interviews Ling Su Wong, friend, artist, and Chinese American

Ling Su explains it all to Mia, and dishes about Chinese astrology

Conclusion:
Are you listening?

Pass the gifts, please