1. What do you find most painful about arguments?

2. What have arguments accomplished in your marriage?

3. Having an attitude of respect, love, and togetherness makes it possible to find win-win solutions to conflicts. How open are you to changing your attitudes?

4. Conflicts that are resolved in a positive way create intimacy. Can you think of a recent conflict that you resolved in a positive way? What made the resolution positive? If a recent conflict wasn’t resolved in a positive way, what kept you from reaching a resolution?

5. Once you understand your spouse, you have an opportunity to give an intelligent and loving response. How intelligent and how loving was your response in your most recent conflict with your spouse?

6. Can you think of an illustration where "meeting later" or "agreeing to disagree" became a permanent solution to one of your conflicts?