Lisa and David Frisbie are passionate about helping relationships thrive. Whether they’re speaking (or writing) to singles or married couples, they have a heart for helping others whose hearts have been broken. In their newest resource, BECOMING YOUR HUSBAND’S BEST FRIEND, the Frisbies open with an insightful introduction that allows today’s readers to better understand how today’s man and woman view marriage. Culturally speaking, it is often rare to find couples saying and believing “till death do us part.” Rather, many are soon thinking that once the marriage vows are spoken, “If it’s not working, I’ll just start over…” Not only are fewer people staying married longer than five or 10 years, second and third marriages are dissolving within a few years at a rampant rate.
Thus the birth of this book, which offers women wise and practical recommendations for building strong, time-tested marriages with their spouses. Women in fact are generally the ones who take the first step to repair and strengthen a hurting marriage, so with this in mind, the Frisbies offer women the tools to roll up their emotional sleeves and get to the hard work at hand. In this two-part resource, readers first will be challenged as the authors gently ask them to introspectively look into their own hearts and be willing to change as God directs and the Holy Spirit enables.
Specifically, these heart-change topics include: should the focus be on fixing one’s spouse, or discovering what makes a woman do what she does; the hidden dangers of unspoken expectations; what a woman doesn’t see in herself (unconscious pride, the power to destroy, unrelenting criticism); when it’s better to say nothing at all (unhelpful gossip) and the elephant in the room, unresolved bitterness.
The second part focuses on outcomes as the Frisbies revisit each real-life story presented in Part 1 and help women “see” how each couple worked through their particular challenges when the wife started taking the initiative to change. Each chapter offers dramatic storytelling by the Frisbies as they listen to, get to know, and work with couples across the country during their travels. Readers will “feel” the pain of each couple’s situation and “see” how easily they slipped into their current destructive habits of communicating and living. Then they give lovingly offered words of counsel for working their way out of these harmful patterns and onto a path of individual and partnered healing. Throughout this encouraging book, women will find themselves taking another look at how they got to the place where they now exist and how to move forward to the place where God wants them (and their marriage) to be.
Women will appreciate the care with which the Frisbies take to offer biblical counsel, no matter how dire or hopeless their marriage is today.
Reviewed by Michele Howe on January 1, 2011