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On Sale: July 26, 2005
Paperback
416 pages
ISBN: 0345479556
HEART'S DESIRE is a story of things lost and things found, in particular those we often don't notice or appreciate at first glance, along with others we sometimes take for granted, such as love, friendship, and courage.
Card shark and former wild child Hallie Palmer is in college now, and Bernard, her former legal guardian and go-to guy for crepes suzettes, has suddenly appeared during final exams. He's hysterical that his relationship has gone down in flames and wants to enlist Hallie in a scheme to win Gil back. So Hallie returns to Cosgrove County, Ohio, the setting of Pedersen's award-winning novel BEGINNER'S LUCK, and resumes her job as live-in yard person for the summer, and also for some damage control. The eccentric Stockton clan is back in full force, including Bernard's socially and sexually progressive mother Olivia, her hot-tempered Italian lover Ottavio who is desperate for a wedding, and Rocky, the chimpanzee who is one Singapore Sling away from needing an AA meeting for primates. Around town, folks assume that since Hallie didn't end up doing time after her previous escapades, she now has time for all of their problems, and thus begins a series of uproarious adventures. Only the truth is that Hallie has plenty of troubles of her own, from paying a big tuition bill to deciding if her new boyfriend is THE ONE. Hallie tackles the issue of money by reacquainting herself with the local bookie, Cappy, while the second question is further complicated by the reappearance of her old boyfriend Craig. As Hallie navigates life's unexpected paths of games lost and love found, she soon discovers that money and love can occasionally cause a lot more problems than they solve. Yet with friends, family, and a place to call home, your heart's desire is oftentimes right around the corner...if you're willing to take a chance on life.
It's impossible not to fall for the winningly eccentric cast of characters in Laura Pedersen's laugh-out-loud sequel to her acclaimed novel BEGINNER'S LUCK. Pedersen reunites 17-year-old card-shark Hallie Palmer with the zany Stockton clan, including cause-obsessed sixty-something radical Olivia and her flamboyant son Bernard, whose unparalleled passion for antiques, old musicals and theme dinners makes for never a dull (or hungry) moment in the household. Add in a highly unusual pet --- Rocky, the alcoholic chimpanzee --- and hilarity ensues around nearly every corner. But underneath its witty repartee and humorous goings-on, this novel poses more serious questions of the heart that everyone can relate to, namely: "What does your heart desire?" and "How do you know when someone is 'the one'"?
If Hallie had the answers, she'd feel a lot more content as her first year away at college comes to an end and she finds herself more mixed up about love (and lust) than ever, despite her numerous string of short-lived boyfriends. In addition to her romantic woes and raging hormones, she also suffers from financial worries and must somehow find a way to come up with next year's tuition or be forced to drop out. With her parents cash-strapped from raising seven other kids and her previous high-yielding pursuits of horse betting and casino games ruled out now that she's gone straight, she accepts a summer job back in her hometown doing yard work at the Stocktons.
In spite of their eccentricities, they were the ones who had taken her in two years earlier and managed to reform her status as the town miscreant, a title she'd rightly garnered after dropping out of high school, running away from home and having several brushes with the law. Now, however, it's time for Hallie to return the favor by helping Bernard Stockton cope with his depression over the break-up of his twelve-year relationship with Gil, who had left him and started dating a woman. For once, Bernard doesn't have a Bette Davis quote or a blueberry blintz recipe in his arsenal that can bring back his usual good spirits and high humor.
And in another mark of just how much she'd matured since leaving for school, Hallie is approached by her frazzled mother (pregnant again, this time with twins) for help in trying to get her hard-partying younger sister back on track during a streak of adolescent rebellion. For the first time, Hallie glimpses the pressures and responsibilities that come with being an adult, and despite her shock at being on the giving, rather than receiving, end of advice, she rises to the challenge with typical aplomb.
While excelling at helping others with their troubles, Hallie falters when it comes to making sense of her own romantic life, and a new love interest combined with an ongoing attraction to her old high school flame doesn't help matters. Meanwhile, Bernard's decision to adopt a Chinese baby proves to be just what he needs to bring back his feisty show-tune singing, theme-party hosting ways of old. Convinced there's no obstacle that a good redecorating project can't overcome, he throws himself with new vigor into revamping the house and gardens to win over the adoption agency.
By summer's end, several surprising turns of events have transpired for both Hallie and the Stocktons as they come to mutually discover that love can arrive in unsuspecting ways and patience pays off in spades because "Your heart's desire may actually be an as-yet-undealt card." With its appealingly honest protagonist, clever dialogue peppered with hilarious one-liners, and buoyant combination of charm and feistiness, HEART'S DESIRE demonstrates the importance of friendship in deciphering matters of the heart.
--- Reviewed by Joni Rendon
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"Funny, tender, and poignant, Heart's Desire should appeal to a wide range of readers."
-Booklist
"Prepare to fall in love again because Laura Pedersen is giving you your 'Heart's Desire' by bringing back Hallie Palmer and her entire endearing crew. In a story as wise as it is witty, Pedersen captures the joy of love found, the ache of love lost, and how friends can get you through it all - win or lose."
-Sarah Bird,
author of THE YOKATA OFFICER'S CLUB
"Smart, funny, and chocked with fascinating tidbits and surprises, HEART'S DESIRE delivers on the promise of its title. Laura Pedersen's lively imagination has created a cast of zany characters and an unforgettable heroine in Hallie Palmer whose honesty, sweet nature, and witticisms make this novel an enchanting read. I can't wait for the sequel!"
-Bev Marshall,
author of RIGHT AS RAIN
and WALKING THROUGH SHADOWS
Laura Pedersen was born in Buffalo, New York (one of "God's frozen people") in 1965, at the height of The Folk Music Scare. (For details of misspent youth see essay at 'Is there a Nurse in the Church?). After finishing high school in 1983 she moved to Manhattan and began working on The American Stock Exchange, a time when showing up combined with basic computation skills could be parlayed into a career. She chronicled these years in her first book, Play Money.
Having vowed to become anything but a journalist and with no conception of what a semicolon does, Laura spent the better part of the 1990s writing for The New York Times.
In 1994 President Clinton honored her as one of Ten Outstanding Young Americans. She has appeared on TV shows including "Oprah," "Good Morning American," "Primetime Live," and "David Letterman".
In 2001, her first novel, Going Away Party, won the Three Oaks Prize for Fiction and was published by Storyline Press. Beginner's Luck was published by Ballantine Books in 2003 and subsequently chosen for the Barnes & Noble "Discover Great New Writers" program, Borders "Original Voices," and as a featured alternate for The Literary Guild. Beginner's Luck has been optioned as a feature film starring Brittany Snow (TV's "American Dreams") as Hallie.
Pedersen's third novel, AST CALL, came out in 2004. HEART'S DESIRE, the sequel to BEGINNER'S LUCK, arrives in stores on July 26, 2005. And the third novel in that series, FULL HOUSE, will be published in the spring of 2006.
Laura lives in New York City, teaches reading and trades Yu-Gi-Oh! cards at the Booker T. Washington Learning Center in East Harlem, and is a member of the national literary association P.E.N. (poets, essayists and novelists).
In this interview Laura Pedersen talks about the themes and various social issues that are addressed in HEART'S DESIRE, the sequel to her acclaimed novel BEGINNER'S LUCK. She explains the importance of friendships in her own life, offers advice to young adults about taking relationships to "the next level," and discusses the plans she has for her protagonist in future books.
Question: The novel revolves around the universal theme of love: Hallie is trying to understand it, Bernard is trying to get it back, and Olivia is trying to keep it at arm's length. Is there an ultimate, common message about the nature of love that you hope readers will glean from the character's individual struggles?
Laura Pedersen: Don't start with the easy questions or anything like that. I suppose that embracing love in all its various forms means that you're alive, and though relationships can be challenging and sometimes even heartbreaking, don't become a cynic and give up or opt out of the system. Ruth Gordon said it substantially better in the movie Harold and Maude: "A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life. Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an "L". Give me an "I". Give me a "V". Give me an "E". L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room."
Q: Hallie faces many of the romantic issues that we all stumble on during youth, such as how to know if someone is 'the one' and how to make sense of the different types of love. Do you think these issues become clearer as we grow older, and how have your own views on love evolved through your adolescence, dating years and marriage?
LP: As a teenager it was obvious to me that love was a game for the young. And then when I was living with my 86-year-old grandfather I observed his girlfriend having a fit about a few women down at the senior's center who were apparently trying to get his attention by saving a chair for him and bringing over extra ice cream. Grandpa's gal pal was in her early 80s and absolutely crazed with jealousy over the whole thing. I was 19 and it suddenly became clear that many aspects of love never change. On the other hand, I think that as we grow older we learn what it means to love a child (especially when he or she is not acting very lovable) and we appreciate good friendships more as we see how easily they can slip away when folks aren't required to show up for holidays and instead need to make an effort to get together.
Q: Further complicating matters are Hallie's raging hormones and the thorny subject of physical love. What advice would you give to a young adult in her position, trying to decide if the time is right to take a relationship to a physical level?
LP: I work with a lot of young people and so I'm comfortable with the fact that my thoughts on this matter will be totally disregarded and considered old-fashioned, if not downright stupid. Nonetheless, I still tell all of my girls not to get into a SERIOUS physical relationship (fill in the blank, young ladies) until after high school because they may not yet be ready emotionally. When high school love affairs go awry entire semesters can be lost to grief, complete with grades dropping, loss of inertia, and even college plans derailed. Just by "going out" and all that entails, breakups are traumatic enough, but when you add sex into the mix, they're a lot more emotionally trying. As for the boys, they tend to find their way a bit more easily in these matters and will either pursue hooking up until someone says yes, or the right girl at the right time will find him. (If you've ever spent time in a girl's lavatory at a public high school you know it's not really the boys who are determining most of these liaisons.)
Q: The novel also highlights the special kind of love that exists between friends and the importance of friendship in helping us weather rough times. In what ways have your own friends helped you reach a resolution to a problem or see things in a different light?
LP: Being that I'm an only child, friendships are extremely important in my life. (My father remarried after my parents divorced and so I now have six stepsisters, but they came later in life and are older so it wasn't the same as growing up with siblings.) There is something amazing about having four or five people who have known me since birth or kindergarten who I can talk to about absolutely anything. I can honestly say I've never felt lonely, not for a minute. The fact that my parents didn't move while I was growing up was also helpful in allowing me to form such lifelong relationships. My friends are terrific at listening (sometimes to the same thing over and over) and at saying the right things. For instance, if it was about breaking up with a guy in high school they'd immediately start listing the many reasons he was a jerk and how the next guy (and there would be one!) was going to be a million times better. On the other hand, if I wanted to get back together with the guy then they'd refrain from saying all the reasons he was a jerk and help make a plan to recover the relationship, even if we all knew it was a strategy that would never be implemented. Most of the time my friends tell me what I want or need to hear and I'm grateful for that. And the times they don't, and give me the hard truth instead, I listen up because I know they're right and I'd better pay attention so as to avoid making some serious mistakes.
Q: Bernard is the kind of friend that we all wish we had in real-life: someone with a zest for living and a generous heart who's always there with a wisecrack and a homemade meal whenever the chips are down. Did you base him on someone you know, and if not, what served as your inspiration for his eclectic blend of characteristics?
LP: Bernard is based on someone I know who lives back home where I grew up in Buffalo, NY. In fact, when I was there last week he was threatening me (while making some kind of hummus hors d'oeuvres at seven o'clock in the morning) that I'd better stop using his life in these books. (I could tell he secretly gets a kick out of it.) When this issue arises I always say that I can't believe how self-involved he is to think that characters in a book are based on him and that he should reread the first page where it clearly states that all the people are fictitious and solely a product of the author's imagination. Then he complains that friends are phoning him and reading lines in that book that are very close to things he's actually done or said, but I'm pretty sure he actually enjoys that too.
Q: In HEART'S DESIRE, we witness Hallie's continued transformation and maturation from BEGINNER'S LUCK. For the first time, she glimpses some of the responsibilities of being an adult. Based on your own experience, what do you think is the most challenging aspect in the rocky transition from adolescence to adulthood?
LP: I think the first time you get into a jam and realize your parents or primary caretaker can't get you out of it is a big step on the road to adulthood. The second one is when you have to take care of someone else, such as an ailing parent or a small child, and your needs can no longer get top billing on the marquee, the way they usually did when you were young.
Q: Hallie helps her sister Louise learn from her own past mistakes, demonstrating that making mistakes --- and moving on from them --- is a rite of passage of growing up. Is there any decision or action that you would undo from your early adulthood if you had the opportunity?
LP: I am a great one for rerunning the movie, thinking back to forks in the road and wondering what would have happened if I had done something else instead. One example that regularly crosses my mind is the issue of attending private school. My mom was a big believer in the public school system, saying that you were going to have to deal with all sorts of people in the real world and so you may as well start learning how to do that early on. However my high school was fairly large and by eleventh grade I started flaming out, getting into some trouble, taking full advantage of the lack of accountability and relative ease with which I could work the system. There are some excellent private schools in Buffalo and so I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I'd attended one. On the other hand, I have terrific lifelong friends from growing up in my school system and a few teachers who had a very positive impact. Maybe skipping some school and following my own agenda was just what I needed to be doing at the time. I had tremendous energy and a short attention span and so perhaps a more structured environment would have driven me over the edge. So I can't say that I'd change anything, but I do believe even small decisions can be life-altering and so you have to try and give them careful consideration with regard to what you think is best and not just do what others expect of you.
Q: Despite its light-hearted tone, the novel touches on a variety of social issues such as gay adoption, the evils of big business, and the unaffordable price of a college education, among others. Are these issues you feel passionate about and do you feel there's ways we can all effect social change, even if on a small scale?
LP: I was raised in the Unitarian church and they were constantly marching and petitioning for social and political change, everything from boycotting grapes until the agricultural workers were treated better to registering people to vote. In-between you had removing intoxicated drivers, nuclear disarmament, the equal rights amendment for women, anti-war movements, championing local coffee growers in South America who were being shut out of the marketplace by large corporations, local animal rights, battered women, helping the homeless. Believe me, I could go on. Olivia is definitely the voice of social conscience throughout the book. However the idea is that her causes don't have to be your causes. As for me, I long ago realized that I can't be on every committee. But I'm a big believer in the starfish theory (it's important to do what you can even if it feels small, like throwing one starfish back into the sea), so I've selected a few things that are important to me. For instance, the past ten years I've volunteered at a school in East Harlem where I tutor in reading and math and plan some fun stuff for the kids. We also have a full-time summer program where they do school work in the morning and then take trips in the afternoon. I believe that all children need a safe space to learn, play, and grow, with a certain amount of structure and adult supervision to help them understand how to interact successfully, with fairness, kindness and respect for one another.
Q: One of the best things about the book, in addition to the wonderfully endearing characters, is the witty narrative voice and hilarious one-liners. Do your comedic gifts make you an extremely popular dinner party guest and have you ever considered dabbling in stand-up comedy?
LP: My "comedic gifts" got me thrown out of high school. But yes, I did perform standup comedy at places like "The Improv" in New York during the 1980s. The thing about standup is that it's usually a road to somewhere else --- you should want a TV show or to do HBO specials. I didn't desire those things, nor do I particularly love being a performer. I much prefer writing. However I still write jokes for a few comedians you would recognize.
Q: The characters in HEART'S DESIRE have a variety of interesting hobbies that they're passionate about, from gardening and cooking to musicals, gambling, and decorating, which is what makes them so lively and three-dimensional. Do you share any of these passions with them in your spare time when you're not writing?
LP: I love to look at flowers but I'm allergic to them and have what you might call a brown thumb. My idea of decorating is putting maps up on all the walls. I'm also a horrendous cook, which I come by honestly since my mom is mostly Irish and there aren't too many cookbooks called, "Great Irish Recipes," nor do people often say, "Hey, let's go out for Irish food." Furthermore, my mom used to decide that dinner was cooked when she finished a chapter in her book. So I should say it was always overcooked since, as a nurse, she worried about food poisoning and always went an extra chapter just to be on the safe side. We had a saying around my house, "Where's there's smoke, there's dinner." When I was growing up I assisted a teacher (who later became a good friend) in putting on our high school musicals. That was fun and by osmosis I picked up a lot about show tunes, mostly from the 1940s and 50s. Being from Buffalo I of course know how to bowl. (Don't ever bowl against someone from a steel town.) I also enjoy rollerblading. But most of all I like being with the kids at my school because they're interesting and funny and I always learn a lot from them.
Q: Fans will be delighted to know there are two more Hallie Palmer books in the works. When you wrote BEGINNER'S LUCK, did you foresee it blossoming into a series? Has writing the subsequent novels become more difficult or easier over time and how do you envision the character of Hallie continuing to evolve in the future?
LP: When I wrote BEGINNER'S LUCK I didn't envision the novel as the start of a series. However, after it came out people were constantly asking what happens to the characters, especially Hallie, since the book is rather open-ended about her future. Furthermore, the folks from Cosgrove County continued to live on inside my head, thereby leaving me partially schizophrenic, with a number of different dialogues running at any given time. For instance, around the election I could hear the bleeding heart liberal Olivia saying, "They were forced to elect him for a second term because it was obvious there wouldn't be a book deal from a president who is anti-semantic." And when I had a disappointing meal at a restaurant I could hear Bernard saying, "But the presentation was excellent and that's the main thing." Then with all the excitement about poker the past few years I found myself wondering if Hallie had known all along this was going to be the next big thing and whether she was out in Las Vegas cleaning up at the casinos. So for reasons of sanity more than story I had to let them all escape back onto the page. The narrative in HEART'S DESIRE picks up about ten months later, when Hallie has finished her first year of college. My problem now is that people are asking if Hallie eventually graduates from college and what happens with her and Craig. Plus I'm still hearing the voices. Driving through South Carolina last week and seeing the blue evacuation route signs along the roadside, the homebody Bernard remarked, "I'd much rather live in a place where you can get snowed in as opposed to flooded out. On the other hand, the mouthwatering hushpuppies at Shrimp Shack on Sea Island Parkway and scrumptious chocolate fudge at Southern Sweets in Beaufort might just make it worth the risk." FULL HOUSE, in which Hallie turns 19 and has to return home for a year to manage a family crisis, is finished and will be published in November of 2006. (The first two chapters can be read on the Web site.) After that there will be a final installment called BEST BET where Hallie ventures out into the world. She'll be about 20 or 21 and so that's probably a good place to wrap things up since when I think back on my own life that's when I started to get really boring. At least that's what the voices in my head are telling me right now. Now if I can only convince them to give me tomorrow's winning lottery numbers...
© Copyright 2005, Laura Pedersen. All rights reserved.
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Chapter 1
Someone is cracking open the bedroom door. "Hallie? Are you in there?"
Upon hearing the familiar voice I wake slightly and assume that I'm having weird dreams due to excessive body heat. Lying next to me is my boyfriend Ray. And on the other side is Vanessa. I push down the blanket.
"Hallie, are you up?" the voice comes again.
Only now I'm definitely hearing and not dreaming Bernard's stage whisper. And also smelling the rich aroma of freshly baked bread. Wakefulness and reality strike simultaneously. "Oh my gosh!" I shout and raise my head. "What time is it? I have an exam at eight!"
The only thing that's not surprising is to find Bernard Stockton in the hallway of my apartment. After all, he's the one who'd saved me when I was sliding down the slippery slope of adolescent rebellion the previous summer by taking me on as a live-in yard person. And now at least one weekend a month he arrives early and cooks us all a big breakfast. Only this isn't Saturday or Sunday. It's Thursday of finals week.
Bernard opens the door the rest of the way and steps inside the room. "It's just after seven," he says. But his voice breaks and I can tell immediately that something is terribly wrong. Not only that, he must have gotten up at four in the morning to make the one hour drive to Cleveland and then bake bread.
"What's the matter - I mean - I'm coming..." I start to climb out from my position as pickle in the middle but realize I'm in my underwear. "Um, could you wait in the kitchen?"
"Oh, yes, of course. How indelicate of me." His footsteps become faint and then I hear him tackle the mess of dirty pots and pans.
Meantime I stumble through the minefield of packed duffel bags and piles of dirty clothes and finally pull on the first T-shirt and sweatpants that come into view. The whole place smells like old pizza and even older laundry. As I pass the living room the sound of loud snoring comes from behind stacks of books and model cardboard buildings that rise in the middle of the floor to form a miniature skyline. A closer look reveals Debbie and Todd passed out on the couch, surrounded by notebooks and empty pizza boxes.
In the kitchen Bernard has lined up his numerous shopping bags on the floor, since there's no available space on the countertops or table. Those are all covered in a collage-like mishmash of art supplies, stained coffee mugs and pizza crusts. Fortunately, he's accustomed to the mess. With four busy young women sharing three rooms and all the various friends and boyfriends hanging about, housekeeping rarely rises above the minimum required for pest control. Particularly during exam time, when we're all cramming for finals and working like crazy to finish up papers and projects.
I rub the sleep from my eyes. "What's wrong? Is it Olivia?" Though I'd called Bernard's sixty-ish mother the night before to ask her a grammar question for a paper I was writing, or at least attempting to write, and she'd sounded fine.
Bernard stops whipping eggs in the clean metal mixing bowl he brought from home, bows his head and shuts his eyes as if in pain. "It's Gil."
Never before have I seen him so grave when referring to his long-time companion. And so of course I assume the worst. "What? Is he dying?"
When my eyes become accustomed to the light I notice how completely wrecked the normally dapper Bernard looks - bags under his eyes, worry lines furrowing his brow, and something I've never seen on him before, brown socks with black loafers!
Bernard turns away from me and dabs at his eyes. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry." He waits a moment to compose himself, takes a deep breath, looks me straight in the eye and in a trembly voice blurts out, "Gil left me!"
"You broke up?" I'm truly stunned. I'd have voted my parents more likely to break up than Gil and Bernard, and even the thought of that is impossible.
"We didn't break up." Bernard starts sniffing again. "He left me! Abandonnement. " He switches to French for greater effect.
I'm not sure that I see the difference between breaking up and one person leaving, but it doesn't appear to be the right moment to ask. Tears begin to stream down Bernard's cheeks and I've never seen him full out cry like this before, not even when his father, The Judge, died.
As I reach out to put my hand on his arm a hiss comes from the stove and he leaps up to adjust the heat on his beloved Calphalon nonstick crepe pan. Then he starts concentrating on making apple-cinnamon crepes and this seems to calm him slightly, to my great relief. Hopefully Bernard is overreacting and he and Gil just had an argument that will eventually be resolved. Perhaps it was about Bernard's junk taking up the entire garage. In the springtime Gil always gets cross when bucketfuls of pollen land on his car because it has to sit out in the driveway.
"What happened?" I ask. "Did you two have a fight?"
"No. I mean, here he is, always insisting that he's the normal one. Then all of a sudden he goes berserk and announces that he doesn't want to be part of a committed relationship. Gil hasn't been the same since his older brother Clifton died unexpectedly last month ...he became more and more distant and then... he said...it was over..."
Bernard begins crying again and uses the dishtowel over his shoulder to wipe away his tears. He always brings his own Marshal Field's British icon dishtowels when he comes to cook for us.
All of my friends love Bernard. He's like an eccentric uncle who unexpectedly shows up and cooks, helps to decorate, rearranges the furniture, and even organizes theme parties. In fact, one of my professors had even invited him to guest lecture in a pottery class. Having bought and sold ceramics for his shop the past fifteen years Bernard knows everything about all the different schools and designs, and most of all, exactly how much any lump of painted clay you might have lying around your attic is worth. However, this morning his usual expression of irrepressible light-heartedness is nowhere to be found.
Either the noise from us talking, or more likely, the smell of fresh
bread and vanilla flavored coffee, awakens the couple on the couch in the living room and we hear them carefully making their way toward the kitchen. There are design projects in various states of completion all over the apartment, transforming it into an obstacle course.
Bernard quickly pulls himself together and says to me, "I can't have anyone seeing me so upset. Now don't say a word to them about this calamity, all right?"
"Mum's the word," I say. Bernard does indeed have a reputation for inexhaustible zest and witty remarks to protect.
Debbie and Todd appear bleary-eyed in the archway. Todd is bare-chested, wearing only jeans that hang low on his waist, suggesting an absence of underwear, and Debbie has a mint green sheet wrapped around her, Statue of Liberty style. I'd rather we were all exhausted from partying, like at the beginning of the semester, but everyone is beat as a result of hitting the books hard all week.
"Hey," they say sleepily, but in unison.
Debbie is used to Bernard arriving early, though usually on weekends rather than school days. And her boyfriend Todd is around often enough to have met Bernard a few times as well. They also know that he's very generous with his cooking. Bernard always claims that he's trying out new recipes and needs tasters, as if we're all doing him a huge favor by eating a five-course breakfast.
"Something smells terrific," says Todd, hungrily eying the platter that by now has three blintzes smothered in crushed apples on it.
"Come on now, I know that everyone is tired and hungry with all these horrible tests!" With forced cheer Bernard digs into his shopping bags and starts taking out the cartons of cream, fruit salad and powdered sugar.
"Your eyes are all red," Debbie says to Bernard. "Are you okay?"
Bernard looks at me searchingly.
"He was just chopping onions," I quickly supply a plausible explanation.
"It's no use," says Bernard and begins to weep again. "Gil left me and I'm just a wreck!"
Bluffing was never his great strength. At least not like blanching. Bernard crumples into the nearest chair and cradles his face in his hands.
It so happens that Debbie's mother is a rapid cycling bipolar and as a result she's excellent at dealing with unexpected mood swings. Debbie calmly pours him a mug of the fresh coffee and pulls a chair up right up next to his. "That's terrible!" She places her arm around him. "Tell us all about it."
"Oh, no. You have enough to worry about with exams." Bernard takes a breath and begins, "Gil's older brother died a little over a month ago. They weren't on speaking terms because of course the family had disowned him when he came out of the closet..."
Just then I notice the clock on the microwave says a quarter to eight. My exam in motion graphics starts in exactly fifteen minutes. Leaping up from the table I say to Bernard, "I'll be back in two hours. Can you stay that long?"
"Stay? I can't go home!" He waves the end of the dishtowel with the Buckingham palace guard wearing the big black furry hat at me. "I've driven mother insane the past two weeks with all my keening and wailing. She says that if I can't let go then I need to see a psychiatrist before she'll let me back in. And to make matters worse, she keeps reminding me that Shaw's "Pygmalion" didn't have a happy ending - Hollywood added it when they transformed the play into "My Fair Lady."
I leave Bernard at the kitchen table while I take a quick shower. By the time I return, my other roommates, Suzy and Robin, have emerged from their cave in the back and he's recounting the story to them, starting at the beginning.
As I'm racing out the door Bernard interrupts himself to ask me, "Uh Hallie, that was Steve in your bed with you, wasn't it? But I didn't recognize the woman."
"Actually that was Ray, my latest boyfriend of two weeks. And on the other side was Vanessa. She stayed over last night."
"Obviously." He gives me a curious look. "A ménage a trois. Mother would be so proud!"
"Oh my gosh, no! Vanessa is Ray's neighbor. She's planning on going to school here next year. We ran out of beds."
"Of course. I've forgotten how loose everything is at college." ENDS
© Copyright 2003, Laura Pedersen. All rights reserved.
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